Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

Uh-oh, Clementine. Will you follow their example?

Please, people, can everyone stop calling it "New Or-Lee-Ins" and instead pronounce it correctly? It really shouldn't be hard. Or-Leans. The "lean" in this word rhymes with the word "lean" as in "I'll take the 93% lean ground beef" or "I don't have enough lean muscle mass".

Special notice to NPR journalists: this means you too. Thanks.

Note: As Clementine pointed out, I was being too specific. It's OK to say it "N'Awlins" too, in other words, with the local accent, I'm not saying no accents. I'm saying no adding an entirely extra syllable because you're from the north and you're too stupid to figure it out.

This includes you, Capital Waste. I would appreciate it if you would opt to actually pick up all the trash that people put out on garbage day. Not, for instance, decide to skip the last two buildings on the street, opting to wait 2 more days till the next pickup day when you will (presumably, hopefully) pick up the then very disgusting garbage which has been kicked around and ripped apart on the sidewalk.

Oh, and by the way, nobody better give me or anyone else in my building, including our landlord, a ticket. We put the trash out well before pickup time. If you folks could just manage to actually do your job, you would have saved me more garbage aggravation.

Sincerely,
Jenn

Check out other tales of trash woe on Beacon Hill.

OK, Clementine sent me this because, she claimed, I would "pee my pants" when I saw it. Unfortunately she was almost right.

We went to school with this chick, Carey. She lived in Chase House with us our senior year. (And by the way, our friend Claire could have done Chase better justice than that watercolor.)

All I can say is, this makes me laugh so much. First of all, she's in Milwaukee or something - how does she even meet this guy? Secondly, I can't reconcile any of this with what I know of her days at Smith.

I will say one nice thing, she was always very sweet. But I think she had some issues.

Y kills me again. I mean, she's always funny but this one was especially amusing to me.

...you can't stop.

From:   Melissa Aouci  
Sent:   Wednesday, May 23, 2007 2:16 PM
To: Jennifer Martinelli
Subject:    RE: Once you pop

Dear Consumer;

That is our master plan. Soon we hope to take over 
the world. We already have your President, the rest 
of the world leaders will fall like dominoes.

Ever your master,
Pringles

------------------------------------
From:   Jennifer Martinelli  
Sent:   Wednesday, May 23, 2007 2:05 PM
To: Melissa Aouci
Subject:    Once you pop

Dear Pringles Select,

Why can I not stop eating you until I have finished 
an entire bag in less than an hour? Are you laced 
with crack?

Your friend, 
Jenn

P.S. Oops, I think you should change your serving 
size due to the above-mentioned reason. Your calories 
would thenceforth be not 150 but 900 and your calories 
from fat not 80 but 480. That might slow me down next 
time.

They are talking about some survey about Americans' favorite fast food or something and they just said that Chick-fil-A won "best chicken". The host then said, "Chick-what?" and the guest said, "Yeah, I know, I didn't know how to pronounce it either when I first saw it."

I'm very sad for you both that you've never had Chick-fil-A because it is in fact the best chicken sandwich EVER.

This must have been what I was listening to.

This is pretty interesting actually.

In light of this, have some Hostess cupcakes!

This guy is not exactly giving all of us a good name.

It reminds me of the genius in my high school in Ohio who asked our exchange student, Eva, shortly after meeting her, if she bought "all of her clothes" in the US. Yes, she arrived at the airport in a blanket, which is how people walk around Germany. We had to take her right to the mall to buy all her clothes. What?

It's a certain someone's 30th Birthday today! Happy Birthday!

I hope you get to relax this evening and that Petunia treats you to a lovely dinner and that you get to have yummy birthday goodies!

It will be so nice to see you this weekend!

Have a really awesome day! The weather is perfect.

Hey everyone - good news! J. Crew is having a sale. Maybe this makes you feel like doing some shopping for me. Hint hint.

(It's a little sad, isn't it?)

Those horrible, menacing men who made those terrifying little LED displays about the stupid Aqua Teen Hunger Force nonsense back in January served community service and are being released. Apparently they apologized and appeared very contrite in court today.

Said Mayor (Mumbles) Menino:

"Today's hearing in Charlestown hopefully marks the conclusion of the fallout from Cartoon Network's guerrilla marketing campaign," Mayor Thomas M. Menino said in a statement. "I hope the message goes out to all guerrilla marketers who plan on doing business in Boston that we take the public safety of those who live and work here very seriously."

Yes Mumbles, message received: Boston is full of a bunch of whiny, ridiculous, over-reacting babies who, rather than admit they overreacted, seek to place blame elsewhere and cry until they get their way.

Note that similar campaigns were carried out in 10 U.S. Cities and Boston is the ONLY ONE with such a reaction.

Do you know what I have in the freezer at my office?

I have these. And they are awesome.

Me: "Hey, I put a birthday list on my blog today of all the great stuff people can buy me."

Rob: "Why? When's your birthday?"

Yeah. Don't get too offended. He also doesn't remember his mom's, his brother's, his nieces', Heather's, Billy's, and on occasion I'm not sure about his own.

This is it folks! The time of year when I make an unrealistic birthday list and post it online, hoping that someone will win the lottery and buy me all of it! Ha ha. Hey, I can dream, right?

So as you may already know, I'm a clothes whore as well as a shoe whore. In addition I would like to inform you that I am an accessories whore.

Here are a bunch of nice things you can buy me:
(You might not know it based on my usual somewhat boring and at times sloppy appearance, but I love pretty pretty dresses and girly things.)

Banana Republic

• White shirtdress, and a belt to go with it. Dress, size 10, white. Belt I have no idea. Medium I guess, in "Doe".
• Cotton chino dress, size 10, in khaki.
• Cotton chino skirt, size 10, in khaki and navy.
• Chino "suit" pants, size 10, in navy, and matching jacket, same size/color. (See how I'm mixing and matching? The jacket goes with the pants AND the skirt!)
• Black sling-backs, size 9.
• Peridot necklace.
• Dewdrop necklace.
• Teardrop necklace.
• Floral scarf.

J. Crew

• Striped shirtdress, navy, size 10.
• Marybeth dress, navy, size 10. I really love something about this dress. It's so feminine and pretty.
• Oxford skirt, bluebell, size 10.
• Stretch chino skirt, british khaki, size 10.
• Paper poplin camp shirt, dark thyme and/or navy, size L. Such a great light layer for the summer!
• "French school girl" shirt, size 10.
• Slouch jeans, lighter and looser for the summer, size 10.
• Driving mocs, chocolate, size 9.
• Floral earrings.
• Brimmed beach hat, white.

Gap

• Boyfriend trouser, size 10, dark beige.
• Cropped chinos, size 10, new camel.
• Favorite knit shell, size M, 1 each color. Non-skanky sleeveless for the summer.
• Milano skirt, size 10. Pretty twirly skirt...

J. Jill

• Shirt dress, ocean, size 10.
• Linen tank dress, wedgewood or white, size 10.
• Wearever scoopneck dress, size m.
• Crinkled silk wrap dress, creme brulee, size 10.
• Wrap tank, size m.
• Cropped pants, size L.

Lands End

• Cotton sleeveless shift, size M, black. Casual but nicer than jeans.
• Commuter skirt, size 10, black.

Tiffany

Yes, Tiffany, but I'm not crazy. It's the affordable stuff.

• Simple silver square-cut ring
• Silver and aquamarine ring
• Square silver and peridot ring
• Silver rose ring I've had my eye on this one for years.
• Silver rose drop earrings
• Silver aegean necklace

Mac Makeup

I love this lipstick.

• Lipstick in: Hug Me, Sheer Plum, and Spice it Up.
  All in the "finish" called "lustre"

Crocs

• Ballet flat crocs? I'll give them a try. Size 9 or equiv, sea foam.
• Beach - the original! Size 9 or equiv, light blue. I loved my green pair that Clementine gave me last year to death. The soles are paper thin and about to go. Wouldn't you like to get me another pair so all the Croc-haters can make fun of me for another year? I'd actually take just about any color but please no pukey colors like mustard yellow or brown.

Lastly, you can always check my Amazon wishlist.

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
- Bertrand Russell

I'm listening to this on NPR and I feel like I'm an alien or something.

The problem I'm having is that the host of the show is acting all surprised at the fact that junk food is cheaper than fresh healthy food.

Seriously, people don't know that the cheap food is the worse food in most or many cases? I mean, you don't know that a twinkie is cheaper than a bunch of carrots? Is there someone out there (granted, I'm talking about people who actually do their own shopping, not someone with a kitchen staff or anything) who doesn't know that fruit is more expensive than chips? Or that fresh bread is more expensive than preservative-filled bread?

Sometimes I feel like I'm in the secret know of things that I thought were obvious, and other people are just discovering them. It makes me feel like I'm from another universe or something.

There is something that bothers me so much and I see people doing it more and more lately, typically in a bookstore cafe - bringing in outside food. I'm not talking about a cup of coffee, I'm talking full on meals - sometimes a whole spread from Wendy's, sometimes 8 tupperware containers of stuff from home, multiple water bottles, etc.

Do people not get it? They don't care? I will never understand. It makes me so insane. Really, the fast food is the worst. I guess if you're one of those crazy folks who drinks water constantly and always has a water bottle with you I can't fault you too much. But you're going to get a full meal at a fast food place then walk into a bookstore cafe, not buy anything at all, and sit down and stuff your face? That is asanine folks.

Thank goodness Hashbrown gave me a topic to steal because my mind is not coming up with my usual wit and charm today but I do want to post something.

So, here are 5 things you may not know about me:

1. I can drive a three-on-the-tree pickup truck.
2. I hate wearing shoes and socks. If my feet wouldn't get frostbite and fall off I would wear sandals and/or go barefoot all year long.
3. I have had grey hair since I was 16.
4. I am the only person from my high school class to go to college more than 150 miles away.
5. I have 3 holes in each of my ears. I know. Gross. I only use 1 in each now.

Note: I had to edit #4 to be 150 miles because I underestimated how far Columbus (and Ohio State) was from my lame-ass town.

Sorry India, I don't mean to generalize too much, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to visit you while there are people getting burned alive for practicing "black magic". No thank you. I don't want you to think my cell phone or iPod is "black magic".

Let's review.

• Made up rules about putting garbage out
• People can't do it right even if they do it at the right time
• Even when you do do it right, you still get in trouble
• Everyone is an asshole about it in general

Add to that:

• Crazy old ladies don't like sharing their recycling bins.