Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

I'm going to say something controversial and shocking now. I know, you're all very surprised. Like this blog isn't just basically a place for me to complain and call people assholes.

Anyway, I have a huge problem with the following: people tying their dogs up to a random lightpost/parking meter, etc. outside while they go into some building to do whatever. I always have a problem with this, but it's much worse in the winter. Last night we were walking to Borders and we went past an Irish Setter curled up tightly on the freezing cold sidewalk (it was in the 20's) on Charles Street, I'm sure very cold and upset.

This goes along with my problem with people thinking it's fine to let their dogs go off-leash in the city. I don't know how you can care so little about your dog, and/or be so stupid as to think your dog actually understands everything going on around them, that you think this kind of behavior is OK.

Would you tie your child to a post and walk away? Probably not. Why is it OK to do it with your dog? The correct answer is it's not. First and foremost, I know you think you're doing the dog some great service because it gets to go with you on whatever errand you're running, but you don't know what's going through your dog's head while you're at the dry-cleaners or Starbucks or the grocery store or wherever you decided to go. It could actually be a very stressful event for them.

Also, how do you know what your dog will do if another dog comes by? And, what if someone decides to steal your dog? Would you like that? Probably not. Then why are you doing something so stupid and thoughtless? Better yet, what if someone decides to kick your dog or throw things at your dog or let your dog loose just to see what happens? What kind of a selfish jerk leaves their defenseless pet at the mercy of strangers while they browse around Dean and DeLuca's? Apparently just the kind of selfish jerks that abound on Beacon Hill.

Maybe next time I'll just steal your dog. It will all turn out well for him/her. S/he will get to sleep on the bed under the covers, have a treat every time I leave the apartment, and basically rule the roost. And S/he'll never be abandoned in the cold again.

Seriously, you are a total ass-hat if you do this.

Clementine sneakily tagged anyone who read her post for this.

1. I have never been skiing. I know this is almost a sin around these parts, but I grew up in pretty flat places. Yes, people still found places to ski but it wasn't really as common for most folks to be big skiers. I'd actually really like to learn but I'm sure I'll be a total klutz at first.
2. I used to have a deep and abiding hatred for NASA. I've tried to ease up on that lately. I have a friend that works there. My basic gripe was that it was a huge waste of money sending space shuttles up to test silly things. But yeah, they actually do more than that.
3. When I'm relaxed with no expression on my face it looks like I'm frowning a little. My mom has the same thing. I don't know how to fix it. I guess I can't. If you see me sitting around looking like I'm frowning, I'm probably not.
4. I've only had 3 manicures in my whole life. Depending on where you are from that's either more than you'd had or you're feeling sorry for me right now because you get them weekly. Hey, I grew up in farm country in PA and went to high school in a town so tiny it was literally a "village". The average person does not get regular manicures in these places. Basically I like it as a very occasional fun little pampering thing to do, but I can't imagine spending money on it regularly. Why wouldn't I just paint them myself exactly? (This is what has actually happened if you see me with nail polish on.)
5. When I was 10 years old I used to babysit my brothers (who were 6 and 2). I think my parents would get in trouble for that officially now. But it was really fine. I was 10 going on 40. As a comparison, the boys couldn't be trusted alone when they were 14 and 10 respectively.
6. I HATE peanut butter. I hate it with the burning intensity of a thousand suns. I'm not allergic so I can't explain the strong distaste but my mom says I never liked it, even as a baby. I don't really like any kind of nut, but the difference between "not really liking" a walnut or indeed, even a peanut, and the feelings I have about peanut butter is so huge that I might as well say I love all nuts compared to how much I hate peanut butter. If I accidentally eat anything with peanut butter in it, I have to get the taste out of my mouth in a matter of seconds or I will definitely throw up.

And with that pleasant bit of info, here are the rules for this meme, which I barely followed:

1. Link to the person that tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4. Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
5. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6. Let the fun begin!

Yeah, I didn't do 4 or 5 because I don't have the energy to pressure anyone else. Is this week over yet?

Sorry, but her little bit about Hilary Clinton on SNL's Weekend Update cracked me up.

Check it out here.

Well it was not fun but we found a place.

Here are a few pics. Our lease starts March 16 so we will be moving starting then, and hopefully it will be a quick process and as painless as possible!

(Mouse over images for descriptions.)

Ha ha, serves you right. Sorry, but it's true. You don't own the spot for the rest of time because you shoveled your car out once.

I think this is hilarious.

Hey, scammer, whoever you are and whatever your objective is - you might want to try to be a TINY BIT more realistic.

No one in their right mind is going to seriously believe there's a 2 bedroom apartment in Boston for $800. If you said $1600 you might get some takers.

Give me a break.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

Kurt Vonnegut

Amen, sir.

Here's another thing to make my heart hurt.

Project Linus (I love the name) donates handmade blankets to kids in hospitals, shelters, etc. I think it's a nice idea. While it may be a long time before I have the free time to knit for this or the Snuggles Project I'm spreading the word at least.

So looking for an apartment sucks, as has been previously mentioned.

The most frustrating thing of all is how few places take pets; or specifically, our pets. Of the places that take pets, which are few and far between, many of those only take "small" pets, usually defined as pets under 30 lbs. Billy is more than twice that size.

I don't understand the size limit. If you just don't want dogs, then say no dogs. I don't know what they think is better about a 25 pound dog than a 75 pound dog. In my experience tiny dogs are more likely than large dogs to do all of the following:

1. bark a lot
2. have accidents
3. snap at people

Next, I really don't understand why so few landlords take pets. I mean, if you have a really irresponsible pet owner yeah, they might let their pets trash the place. But if they didn't have pets, guess what? They'd trash it themselves. Seems to me what makes more sense is having a security deposit for everyone and/or asking for references. If I have 4 landlords who all say I lived in their buildings with pets and left the apartment in excellent condition, what more do you want?

And as someone I talked to about this recently was saying, I think in a lot of cases people our age (30's) with pets are likely to be more responsible than people without pets. We have to come home and take care of them. We're not very likely to have people coming and going at all hours or have a ton of people over. We are used to the responsibility of pet ownership.

Read the rest

Stolen from Clementine. How fitting to post about my current home when we're looking for a different one.

When you walk in the front door, which room do you enter?

The living/dining room (since there's no separate dining room or space to eat in the kitchen).

Do you have a dishwasher?

Yes, thank god.

Is your living room carpeted or does it have hardwood floors?

Hardwood floors and we have area rugs made from Flor tiles. Our hardwood floors kind of suck in that they're really old and uneven with strange dips, and the cracks between the planks are so wide that they get all kinds of dirt and junk in them.

Do you keep your kitchen knives on the counter or in a drawer?

This supposes that we have some sort of actual set of kitchen knives. We have random knives and they're thrown in a drawer with everything else that's not just regular silverware (spatulas, the beaters from our mixer, salad tongs, etc.).

House, apartment, duplex, or trailer?

Apartment.

How many bedrooms is it?

Two.

Gas stove or electric?

Gas, which I actually love though I never had one growing up. I was scared of them when I had my first gas stove at our apartment in Somerville right out of college, but now I LOVE them. So much better to cook with than electric.

Do you have a yard?

No. Because I live in Boston and I'm not a millionaire.

what size TV is in the living room?

No TV in the living room, only in our bedroom. I think it's 31" but I'm not entirely sure. It's a widescreen HD TV but not a flat panel. Actually traditional picture tubes still give you a better image than a plasma or other flat panel display and they still cost less.

Are your plates in the same cupboard as your cups?

No. One thing we have plenty of in this apartment is kitchen cupboards. Our pots and pans have their own spot, our glasses have their own cabinet, wineglasses another spot, plates their own cupboard, etc.

Is there a coffee maker sitting on your kitchen counter?

Yes. A Keurig (the B100). Because only robreed drinks coffee so it's never worth making a whole pot. But Keurig also sells tea and hot chocolate. Pretty cool.

What room is your computer in?

We have a desk where our server (an iMac) is in the livingroom and our laptop is wherever we are usually.

Are there pictures hanging in your living room?

Sadly, no. We never got around to hanging anything up in this place.

Are there any themes found in your home?

Um... The theme of dog and cat hair can be found in every corner of every room. Otherwise I'd say that we in general try for clean, sparse, and modern. And mostly fail due to having too much junk and not enough clean sparse and modern storage furniture to put the junk in.

What kind of laundry detergent do you use?

All, in those tiny little ultra-concentrated bottles. Makes running to the laundromat at least a tiny bit less traumatic.

Do you use dryer sheets?

Absolutely.

Are there curtains in your home?

No, but I really wish there were. Our next place needs to have them. I think they instantly make a place so much more homey and lived-in.

What color is your fridge?

White with a splash of spilled ketchup usually.

Is your house clean?

Ha ha. No. But it's been known to happen from time to time.

What room is most neglected?

At the moment, probably the kitchen. It's so big and there's so much to clean (inside and outside of cupboards, a lot of floor, things like an odd corner with a bag of dog food stored in it that has spilled dog food droppings all over, etc.) that it hasn't been completely cleaned in a long time.

Are the dishes in your sink/dishwasher clean or dirty?

Sink: dirty (but I swear they were all clean before we had dinner last night!)
Dishwasher: clean

How long have you lived in your home?

Just about two years.

Where did you live before?

In a small studio a few blocks down. Same landlord.

Do you have one of those fluffy toilet lid covers on your toilet?

Absolutely not.

Do you have a scale anywhere in your house?

Absolutely not.

How many mirrors are in your house?

One, in the bathroom.

Look up. What do you see?

Ugly dropped ceiling tiles. They're new and in good condition but I hate dropped ceilings.

Do you have a garage?

No. But also no car, so it all works out.

Dear Gap:

I love these jeans and these pants. I love them both very very much. Thank you so much for making them. I wish I could wear nothing but these pants and jeans for the rest of my life.

Your friend,

Jenn

p.s. I would also like to thank my other friend American Express for gifting me with Rewards Points which allowed these wonderful, life-changing pants and jeans to be purchased mostly for free!

Put your dog on a leash, genius.

Because it's a law in this city.

As I have gone over before, it's not optional, it's a law. You don't get to ignore it if you feel that it is oppressive for your dog, or if you think you are capable of controlling every possible action your dog might take, or if you think your dog is "always friendly", etc., etc., etc.

It's a law, and it's for your dog's protection as much as it is for everyone else's protection, so why don't you stop being a lazy fucking asshole and just follow it?

This morning of course Billy and I had another encounter with some genius in our neighborhood, and once again I walked away fuming without yelling at them. I guess I don't want to yell at someone and then run into them 50 more times in my neighborhood, but I'm really annoyed with myself again that I didn't say something. I'm right, so I shouldn't feel bad saying something about it.

Same story as last time, Billy and I are near the Phillips Street Park and starting to go in when I see someone with a dog on the lower level, we stop so I can see what they're going to do, I don't know yet that the dog is off the leash. Billy sees the dog and is interested but not doing anything bad. Billy, of course, is on a fucking leash. The dog, an Airedale, decides to trot over to us, while the stupid owner calls after it in vain telling it to stop, which it totally ignores. So Billy and I turn to leave because I would like to avoid my dog getting in trouble for possibly biting someone else's dog, even though they are the ones who are wrong. I still don't want anyone's dog to get bitten. So of course the dog comes right up to us anyway, Billy snarls and shows his teeth, the dog just stands there dumbly, not leaving, so I have to drag Billy away. Meanwhile the dumb bitch who owns the dog is doing nothing helpful.

Fuck you, lady! Really. Just put your dog on a fucking leash, it is not so hard! If you don't like it then move the fuck out of the goddamn city and stop tormenting those of us who follow the rules with your stupid inability to do so!

So we have to move.

Probably anyone who knows me knows this already.

I don't have the energy at the moment to go into all the issues behind it, but suffice it to say the 3 people living in a 2 bedroom apartment isn't working out anymore.

So it totally sucks ass in a lot of ways. Now I'm sure we'll find a place, and I'm sure not only that we'll find "a place" but that we'll be able to find something decent, and where we can live comfortably, and that's convenient enough, etc.

But looking is annoying. Places sound better than they are when you see them in person, people can be shady and weird, etc.

I've only been to one place so far and while I wasn't expecting the greatest thing in the world, it was kind of bad. It was smaller than I was expecting, it was "garden" meaning "basement" with literally no window (unless you count the sliding glass doors leading out into an under-sidewalk pit) and the community washer/dryer directly outside the front door, and while the tub was nice (what they took a picture of) the floor, sink, cabinet and toilet left a lot to be desired. And the neighborhood was questionable.

Today as I was walking back from Finagle a Bagel with our breakfast I was thinking about how much I don't want to leave Beacon Hill. I'm sure some people think it's a little insane but I really would pay the same price for a small studio to stay here that I could pay for a big 2-bedroom in a suburb. It's just so awesome to have everything walkable, to be so close to places like Whole Foods and The Hill Tavern (with their awesome burgers and sweet potato fries), as well as being a 5 minute walk from the Common or the Esplanade - I don't want to give it up!

We decided that another good spot would be Bay Village but it's a small area and we're not that likely to find a place there. While I'm sure parts of Back Bay or the South End would also be nice, and I even think we're still OK with the idea of the North End (although we got screwed out of 2 separate apartments there, thanks to the same realtor, plus one before that thanks to Heather), I really think Beacon Hill might be the best spot. It's right in the middle of everything.

The good news is, although so far most of the places I've seen coming available have been for Feb 1 or March 1, (our lease is up April 1) there always seem to be a few around here, so I'm hoping we can end up staying put.

So I'll try to keep everyone posted, and wish us luck!

I don't know that I can even think of much else to say about this at the moment other than I think there are so many things that are hilarious about it.

Sorry but it sounds kind of crazy to ban marine recruiters from a town. And then everyone says all kinds of nonsense that has no bearing on reality. Everyone always cries about how peace activists aren't "supporting our troops in this time of war" - meanwhile the activists they're complaining about are standing right in front of them with giant signs that say "bring our troops home now". Why do you think they want them home, stupid? So they can spit on them?

Supporting the troops doesn't = loving or trusting the military or supporting all wars.

Oops, I guess my true colors are showing. I'm just saying, don't be an idiot.

But also, I don't think it's necessary to ban military recruiters from your town. If you think your residents are so stupid that they will enlist in the military without realizing that they may then be sent to war, then I don't think that shows much confidence in your average citizen.

I'm not a big fan of the military in general and wouldn't recommend joining it to anyone I care about, but if you seriously don't get it and are so stupid that you don't know what you're doing when you enlist, then I don't know what else I can do for you, kiddo. And I don't see how that's the military's fault.

The time of year for me to have a "it will be spring soon and wouldn't it be lovely to have a whole new wardrobe?" meltdown.

Maybe I need a new shirtdress. Or perhaps a pretty green patterned wrap dress. No? Well how about this nice floral print dress?

And in case you were wanted to know, here is a fairly nice selection of skirts as well.

Thanks for your time. Have a good day.

(By the way, it's about 5 degrees fahrenheit out today, so I don't know how I can even consider ever wearing a dress again in my life as at the moment I'm wishing I had my crazy ankle-length sweater coat [with hood] from days of yore.)

Here's a little equation for you:

(7:30pm Sunday night) + (all our laundry is dirty) + (change machine at the laundromat not working) + (change machine at farther away laundromat only takes $5 and $1 bills) + (approx. 75% of the dryers at the laundromat working correctly) = ANGRY JENN. JENN SMASH.

I did all of the following:

1. cried
2. swore loudly while throwing laundry from one dryer into another (multiple times)
3. hit a dryer with the flat of my palm too hard
4. jammed my thumb trying to hit a button too hard that wasn't working
5. scared other laundromat patrons

That's all.

In case anyone out there wasn't aware (and sadly, I know there are all too many people to which this does apply), wikiHow would like to tell you How To Get Pregnant.

My favorite part of this is the last line:

Pregnancy is often known to result in children. Do not discontinue birth control unless you are prepared for the results, a lifetime commitment.

Hilarious. And no, I was not looking the subject up, thank you very much (if you're interested in getting kids out of anyone in my family, go talk to my brothers). I just have wikiHow as a feed on my Google home page and I thought this deserved a mention.

Last night I got to visit with my sweet Julls, who I haven't seen in nine years, which we both decided is unacceptable. (Of course, I also haven't seen Jozwik in about 5 years, Emily in 9, Ani in 9, Joy R. in about 5 I think, and it's been at least that long for a lot of other people too...)

We met at Faneuil Hall and walked over to Boston Beer Works on Canal Street for dinner. I actually got a beer too because although I'm not the biggest beer fan in the world, they have some really good ones. I got the Baker's Island Blond.

Anyway, it was great to see Julie, we agreed that each of us looks the same which must mean we don't look old. ;) Hooray for not looking old!

We had good times reminiscing about our days in Tazewell, VA with ASP including the following gems which, in some cases, one or the other of us had forgotten about:

1. The trip to the hospital when one of our volunteers had a miscarriage. Yikes.
2. The Group Leader that Julie had a little thing for who someone, probably Jozwik, declared looked like he might have heads in his freezer at home. (Actually now that I think about it it could have been Ermer or Mark Pie, both of whom I think were around that week.)
3. Our new composition to the tune of "Foolish Games" about foolish questions from one particularly difficult volunteer group.
4. Crazy Craig.
5. Electric Rick.
6. Various upsetting ASP-staff hookups.
7. The site we sent one group to where the guy living there liked to show his junk to people and invite the young girl on the crew to take a shower if she'd like. Oops. Yeah, we only sent guys there after that and only till the first project was done, then we said goodbye. He also showed his junk to Julie. Awesome.
8. The house we went to visit to see if we could do some work for them, and Julie insisting to be let into a room to find the source of a leak only to discover a room o'porn that she wished she could erase from her brain. Um, yeah, we didn't work on that house.

Here are a couple more I forgot about until later:

1. Someone, I believe possibly Crazy Craig walking into our staff quarters and accidentally seeing Julie changing! (We had a mirror set up in a stupid location for a while.)
2. The "boyfriend" Julie made in the grocery store parking lot. For a while she had a running boyfriend count on our whiteboard in the office but we lost track.
3. Our whole closeout week together in Mingo County! That was rife with crazy times and fun stuff. Like scraping gum off the gym floor.
4. The week when we found out with something like 2 days advance notice that one whole volunteer group of about 40 people wasn't coming. Oops - scramble to figure out where to sent the remaining crews!
5. When we had to re-plumb a house after a volunteer specified the wrong type of pipe (PVC instead of CPVC which is suitable for both hot and cold water - PVC is only for cold). Yeah, we should have known that. Also, we made Jozwik do that. I think with Jason Kennedy's help when he came back to be an extra staff member week 7.

Everybody wish Julls good luck as she has a few more interviews coming up.

Good luck, Julls, I'm thinking of you!

WTF West Virginia? Huckabee?

No, seriously. HUCKABEE?!?

I typically defend you when people make ignorant West Virginia jokes, etc. but I didn't know you were collectively out of your fucking minds.

Apparently some folks got upset about a bed for little girls being sold with the name "Lolita".

Seriously? No one at Woolworths heard of Lolita?

Come on guys. It's even in pop songs.

It's no use, he sees her
He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in
That book by Nabakov

Hey, robreed has a new book review you should check out! Especially if you're a big Stephen King fan.