Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

OK faithful readers, here is a little quiz for you.

Can you tell the difference between the following fonts?

Scala sans regular:

and Scala sans LF regular?:

Oh, you can? What gave it away? The way the numbers are very very different? Was that your first clue?

Next quiz: can you tell the difference between Scala sans regular:

and Georgia ?:

Wow, again? You guys are on fire. Now, it may be presumptuous of me, but I'm guessing that none of you are professional printers. Do you think that maybe typefaces would be something that a professional printer might have some degree of familiarity with - at least to the extent that they are able to see very obvious differences with, oh, I don't know, their naked human eye? (You know, like you did just now?)

Well then I know a professional printing office that gets a big giant F- on their report card for "Visual Comprehension". You guys, however, get an A+.

If you'd like to print some business cards for me, I have some business to throw your way.

Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise without your prior consent. I got your contact from a professional database found on the internet.

I have been contacted by an erstwhile freedom fighter who now wishes to channel his money into productive ventures instead of war; he is looking at real estate property and commodities as a thought but opened to any professional advice on investment you might propose.

I will relay other pertinent information as soon as I hear from you.

Regards,

Tunde Samson

Wow, Tunde, it is a shame that all my money is tied up with that Nigerian prince guy, otherwise I totally would be into pursuing real estate investments with you.

OK, really, this is only one reason:

1. Women who piss all over the seat in public restrooms do not deserve to be alive.

That is all.

Pay fucking attention. Or fuck off and go jump off a bridge or something. You're useless to me.

robreed tells it like it is.

What the fuck, America? Seriously.

I was tagged by Joy to post six completely random things about myself. Since I'm still feeling hateful about a lot of things like the economy, politics, the country in general, I thought I would try doing something fun and not hateful. (Also, for my more astute readers, you may realize that I did this once before.)

Here's how it works:

• Post the rules on your blog
• Write 6 random things about yourself
• Tag 6 people at the end of your post
• If you're tagged, DO IT and pass on the tag

Here you go:

1. When I was little (under 10), this was one of my favorite albums. I know, I know. Anyway, I would specifically play "Puff the Magic Dragon" over and over again. Yeah, yeah, it's about drugs, blah, blah, blah. All I know is it's also about growing up and leaving behind childish things and I'm not sure how much of that I understood but this song made me CRY. I would play it over and over and sit and cry. I'm not sure if my mom found this disturbing or amusing or both but she let me do it, which was probably good for my mental health. Anyway, I did this at a friend's house once (a family friend, my parents are very good friends with them, they have a son my age) and poor Judy (my second mom) couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I still remember how freaked out I made her.

2. When my brother Dan, the middle child, was a baby, I didn't refer to him as my baby brother, I referred to him as my baby. As in, "This is my baby Daniel." I was almost 4. I still think this is kind of hilarious but also sweet.

3. My fingers are double jointed. See?:

   

4. I remember almost every phone number I've ever had in my whole life.

5. In general, I am a stickler for The Rules. I'm not talking about any particular group of rules, I mean rules in general. This means laws, common courtesies, rules in a building or establishment of some kind, fashion "rules", and general rules of conduct (such as don't cheat on your significant other, hit or swear at your kids, drive like an asshole, bring your dog into Starbucks, etc.). I typically get VERY UPSET when people break The Rules.

6. I have bleached spots on my top front teeth from the cement on my braces. Thanks, orthodontist. Do you think they fixed this for free? No. But my dentist is happy to offer cosmetic bleaching to fix it. No thank you. No additional tooth damage needed.

I'm not tagging anyone because I'm lazy and I also did this once before. Happy Friday!

the financial industry:

Apparently there are a lot of interlinks in the financial industry

and

Well you know, AIG came along and then Lehman came along and of course they declared bankruptcy. Then AIG came along and it turns out the house of cards, well it got a lot bigger.

Wow.

Mike Jozwik is freaking hilarious. Case in point, recently I sent him a photo of myself looking like death and apparently he was jealous of all the photos of Hester on my cubicle wall, so he issued this directive:

FYI you need to take 3 of those baby pictures down and put three of me up there, pronto!

I said send me a picture and I will (well, except that I won't take any down, I'll just put his up). He sent me the following:

Oh Jozwik, I heart you. But you only sent me one. I need 2 more. This really is posted in my cubicle by the way.

It's ES-PRES-SO. Not EX-PRES-SO. That's with an "S" not a fucking "X".

Thank you.

We came home tonight around 6:45 and Billy went out right away, pee and poop. A little while later we had picked up take-out and Billy started pacing around. I thought maybe he was just excited about the food but his bathroom issues are a little unpredictable since his recent brush with apparent near-death (i.e. refusing to eat for several days, acting depressed and miserable, seemingly losing control of his bladder, acting like none of his legs worked... a lot of the usual Billy drama). He healed himself from this, which we are very glad for of course.

However, often if we're not sure he has to go out we'll just take him rather than take a chance that he'll go in the apartment, or worse, in the hall of the building. Often we carry him outside because so far he hasn't peed ON US but he has peed walking himself outside.

OK, that's the background. Anyway, so since he was fussing and we weren't sure what he wanted I decided to take him out. On my way to get my shoes on and grab his leash I slipped and almost fell on my ass but didn't realize right away what happened. Then I looked and saw that I had stepped in a gross pile of near-diarrhea poop Billy left near the door. Luckily I had socks on and luckily I didn't fall down in it, or it would have been worse than the time I slipped and fell IN a giant puddle of Billy's pee at about 5:30 in the morning after trying to hop over it to get to cleaning supplies.

Oh, Billy, you're such a special joy. Here you are in a more innocent moment.

Just to reassure Clementine that it is possible for me not to look like death circa last Friday, here I am today:

At least I look alive, right?

Just a couple of cute photos for today of Hester trying her first lemonade...

and her first coffee!

No just kidding. Nobody is giving her coffee on purpose but apparently she is a caffeine fiend in the making. Both while I was visiting them during their trip to the Cape and again recently, unbeknownst to the adults in the general area, Hester took sips of a couple of varieties of iced coffee from a straw and declared "Yum!"

She's hilarious.

Sure, I didn't get "enough" sleep most nights, if by "enough" you mean "8 to 10 hours". Of course, I never get "enough" sleep if you're using that definition, so it's not an explanation.

I now realize that perhaps I can blame PMS. But regardless, look at this sad sorry state I was in on Friday:

Yes, that's what I looked like at work. Luckily we were having a cleanup day so I wasn't supposed to look too spectacular. Because um, yeah.

Here's to a week where I hope I can look not like that every day.

Let that be a lesson to you. Never work hard and don't form emotional attachments. And also don't be a cow.

Don't you worry about Wikipedia. We'll change it when we get home. We'll change a lot of things.

Sorry but Pam Anderson saying that Palin can suck it is really kind of hilarious.

I've been feeling very hateful this week toward a lot of things, so to bring the hate level down on my blog somewhat, I thought I'd just put up a couple of pictures from Labor Day when I got to hang out in the afternoon with Hester and Clementine.

First, Hester and I posed on Yawkey Way...

... and later we rested after some fun at the playground near our apartment.

Thanks for a very fun afternoon ladies!

First of all, I saw something about this whole "lipstick on a pig" fiasco on TV last night for about 8 seconds as we were going to bed and I said, "You're fucking kidding me, right? OF COURSE McCain's stupid campaign is now going to allege that Obama is calling Palin a pig because then they can cry 'sexism'!"

Of course they are. Seriously, how fucking D-U-M-B is the average voter if they fall for this crap? Dear everyone: if you don't understand that this is an idiom used frequently, even in politics (even by McCain! about! Hilary! Clinton! ACK!), and that it is not used to call people pigs, then you fucking get what you deserve as far as the election goes.

Secondly, robreed made an excellent post that you should really go read. It includes some really unbelievable clips from the Daily Show if you haven't already seen them, of Fox News pundits clearly displaying their own hypocrisy. Kind of ridiculous really.

Don't interpret this as me being a big Obama fan because I'm not. I'm disgusted with the whole lot. But I really fucking hate McCain and the dumb as shit campaign he is running, as well as his creepy running mate.

Dude, how lazy can you get? Check out these corporate logos. Apparently squares are really HOT in design right now.

Oh my God. Rob and I watched the episode of this show called Domestic Diva last night and this stupid crazy-ass bitch needs a kick in the teeth!

Seriously, she is pretty much unwatchable. I don't know how she has any friends. She's intolerable. I can't believe that in the end she somehow winds up getting the condo she wants.

Important note: this show apparently takes place in Canada which is why everything seems so wicked freaking cheap... especially to us poor souls in the Boston area.

OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS?

My brain just died a little when I saw your commercial for pre-peeled and chopped up potatoes that you microwave then mash up to make mashed potatoes.

Because it is SO EASY to make mashed potatoes. Here's the secret kids: don't peel them. If you don't peel them it takes about 5 minutes to cut them up, then you boil them which takes no effort and then you mash them for like 5 minutes.

Seriously.

Fuck off Ore Ida.

We got two of these last night:

with the idea of using them to organize loose papers, mail, magazines... stuff that gets tossed around and looks messy on our shelves and around our apartment.

I LOVE these! They're convenient because they have handles, I like the rounded shape, and they are the perfect size both to fit on our shelves (also from IKEA of course) and to hold papers and magazines.

Thanks, IKEA! Sometimes I've hated you but I love you right now.

Answer: NO.

Yesterday I met up with Clementine and Hester for a little visit because they were in the city after driving Hashbrown in to work.

We met in Kenmore Square and stopped at 7-Eleven to get some yogurt for Hester and a couple other things, then swung by our apartment where Hester got to meet Billy the dog (no touching Billy since he's grumpy and also has been sick since Friday), Bridget the turtle and Emily the kitty. She loved seeing all of them and Emily was a big hit since she's so friendly and sweet. She let Hester give her a nice long (very gentle!) hug and pet her nicely. She even gave Hester a little kiss on the head.

Apparently Emily was an especially big hit with Hester as she talked about her a lot with her moms for the rest of the day!

After stopping by there, we walked over to the little "Mother's Rest" playground at the top of the Fenway where Hester had a snack and then played in the playground, practiced "up" and "down" by running up and down a little grassy hill, pushed her stroller, talked to geese, and generally had a great time.

The only downside was that while it was lovely in the shade yesterday and even kind of breezy, it was wicked hot in the sun, and that time of day the area where we were was completely shadeless. Of course, this morning, I walked by on my way to work and noted how nice and shaded the whole area was!

Thanks for visiting with me ladies, I had lots of fun!

...while I agree that candidates' kids should be left alone, the fact that your 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, keeping the baby, and marrying the equally young father does in fact speak volumes about your views on sex education as well as possibly abortion, religion, and even adoption.

Blah blah personal choice blah blah but if my 17 year old daughter got pregnant, while it is absolutely her choice what to do about that, I'm pretty sure she would not be "choosing" (i.e. pressured by her parents) to keep the baby and marry her high school boyfriend. That is creeptastic.

Come on folks, this is 2008, not 1948.