Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

I present the 1998 Tazewell, Virginia ASP Staff "Quote Book":

Did you know that Peter Gabriel had a siamese twin for six years? - Jozwik

Doesn't matter to me. I'm easy. - Emily

I don't eat ham unless it's necessary. Like when I'm at my grandma's. - Emily

Well, I had my pants on. - Emily

I loved childhood. That's why I'm still in it. - Jozwik

I don't help anybody. That's my motto. - Jozwik

You better hop your happy hiney in there and help Emily! - Julie

My train isn't bound for glory, it's bound for ice cream. - Emily

You are such a weirdo. - Emily

The way I retaliate is GAS! - Jozwik

Tooting is not allowed! - Julie

If you have a visitor in the school, they have to leave... no matter how nice they are. - Jerry Cromer (The principal of the school where we were staying. This was over the PA system.)

I don't like to look at it while I eat. - Julie

I've got the patience of a small owl. - Jozwik

This crust is fabulous! / If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one... - Julie, Jenn

You're kind of a problem. - Emily

There's just something about chore charts and Wednesdays that makes me mad. - Jozwik

Why don't YOU sell your body so we can go to Sam's Club? - Julie

Let me tell you something about this picture frame in water - it's not flattering. - Jenn

Craig Beavers, come to the office - FAST! - Announcement over the PA

Try it. It hurts. - Jozwik

Time out... my watch smells. - Jozwik

How about a stand-up routine with Eskimos... small Eskimo boys running around me in circles... - Jozwik

Was I better on the cot last night? - Jozwik

Jen who? - Jozwik

I like trees to die young. That's how I feel about people too. - Jozwik

Wait, you talked to MY boyfriend and I wasn't there? - Julie

I just sing what people think. - Jozwik

I don't WRITE your mom, I LAY your mom. - Jozwik

Well, you're the Center Director - go buy it. - Jozwik

Yeah, I saw a dead toddler on the side of the road... - Jenn

Neo-Nazis need home repair too. - Ermer

Those hands aren't crazy! I know your games! - Ermer

Time's on rollerskates, man! - Jozwik

They haven't always had modern medicine. - Emily

I'm all about getting my hands on any kind of raw meat you can imagine. - Julie

Oh no, y'all... my good jeans are washing. That means i have to wear my crap jeans. That makes me sad! - Julie

Raccoons don't talk. - Julie

Don't worry nature, I still care about you. - Jozwik

I'm just not going to talk anymore because it's all so stupid. - Emily

How much would it cost to rent a hovercraft? - Jozwik

There were a couple of newbies who wanted to hop-a-doodle. - Jozwik

I try to channel for at least half the day. / Great, when can we change the channel? - Jozwik, Jardine

I'm a prick 24 hours a day, my friend. - Jozwik

Actually, we experimented. I like to show rather than tell. - Julie

I like my meat wet. - Julie

Why are we all against the the ants? Why don't we feed the ants? - Jozwik

That was the best thing I've ever put in my body...I mean, my mouth. Except for last night. - Julie

Looks like you're about to share more than just your baloney sandwich! - Trojan Man

Right there, baby. You can still smell the chlorine. - Julie

Please don't touch me. Don't touch me all day long. - Julie

Pigtails and crazy - that's me! - Emily

Here - take a picture with this hooker. - Jason P. Kennedy

Wait, my boobs don't hurt. I'm not PMS-ing yet. - Jenn

Well, you shouldn't be messing with your nipples. - Jenn

Dude, I promise you I know the female anatomy backwards and forwards. - Jozwik

You just called me ass-face you jerk-off! You're a dick. - Julie

Please note that Jozwik is heavily featured. He was definitely the most quotable. Also please notice our steady corruption of Julie over the course of the summer. I especially enjoy that the final quote is hers. It was of course, directed at Jozwik.