Jessica is a friend of mine from high school. She kicked my ass into being more liberal - thanks, Jess. Then she and I were labelled as the two biggest bitches in several of our classes because we always yelled at the moron conservative assholes that never shut their f-ing mouths. See? There I go again.
Anyway, I have known Jess for over 13 years, which is hard to believe. We like to do sweet things like call each other "whore" and "slut" and "tramp" and much more creative names that mean the same thing. I'm not sure why, it's just a special bond that we have. (Well, in her case she really is a slut.)
Jess is awesome. She is always fun to hang out with, always fun to make fun of people with, and she is also the whore with the heart of gold. When I had my wisdom teeth (all four at once) taken out after my freshman year at college, she stole dogwood from her neighbor's tree and made me a pretty bouquet and also brought me a half gallon of my very favorite ice cream, Breyer's strawberry.