Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

People, how many ways can I tell you these are ugly? Mouse over images for comments.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I have never seen one person in real life or on TV or in any photograph ever taken by anyone who looks good in these. I PROMISE. Please, stop the madness.

I actually feel that these sandals should literally be illegal.

Hi, BR. You are one of my favorite stores. I love a lot of your things, even though I often find them to be overpriced. I guess I am just getting used to that, after all, I do live in Boston.

But the thing is, you sent me an email today, featuring these perfectly hideous shoes. You were all about the shoes. They are "the" shoes for the season, etc. But you missed the fact that what was actually nice in your email was the dress the model was wearing.

So, for future reference, let me review.

These, this, and these = ugly.

This , this and this = pretty.

Thank you for your time.

Dear Gap:

I love these jeans and these pants. I love them both very very much. Thank you so much for making them. I wish I could wear nothing but these pants and jeans for the rest of my life.

Your friend,

Jenn

p.s. I would also like to thank my other friend American Express for gifting me with Rewards Points which allowed these wonderful, life-changing pants and jeans to be purchased mostly for free!

The time of year for me to have a "it will be spring soon and wouldn't it be lovely to have a whole new wardrobe?" meltdown.

Maybe I need a new shirtdress. Or perhaps a pretty green patterned wrap dress. No? Well how about this nice floral print dress?

And in case you were wanted to know, here is a fairly nice selection of skirts as well.

Thanks for your time. Have a good day.

(By the way, it's about 5 degrees fahrenheit out today, so I don't know how I can even consider ever wearing a dress again in my life as at the moment I'm wishing I had my crazy ankle-length sweater coat [with hood] from days of yore.)

People of the world, I can not tell you often or loudly enough skinny jeans are hideous. ON EVERYONE. (Please make note of how unflattering they look on this model who essentially has no hips or body fat. Let's discuss how bad they will look, therefore, on the rest of the population. Not because there's anything wrong with hips or fat! Because this is a universally unflattering fashion.)

You should know from the description, "Lux Menswear Onsie" that there can't possibly be anything good about this. I mean honestly, this is so ugly it astounds me.

These are a flashback to middle school. These never should have existed in the first place and I don't know what kind of mental disorder is making people resurrect them, but apparently it's contagious and it also compels you to abandon all common sense. There are so many ugly things going on here I can't even address them all in the space available to me here.

And last and perhaps most ugly of all, black satin stirrup pants. I'm not sure if these or the acid washed jeans are more ugly but the fact that they both exist in the same dimension of reality is pretty upsetting to me. I mean, I like looking at aesthetically pleasing things, don't you? Who are the people who like to torture themselves by not only, I must assume, surrounding themselves with ugliness, but also wearing it?

I would love some 30% off suiting options.

Unfortunately, 30% off $300+ doesn't help me much at the moment. SIGH.

But I do love your suiting dress which is, by the way, not part of the sale.

Very nice. As all my faithful readers should know by now, I love pretty dresses. Apparently it is my new thing.

Not sure what it is exactly about this sweater, but I must have it. Unfortunately, it costs $180. Which means I cannot have it. So, what are the chances I can copy the design and make one myself? Pretty slim my friends. But I may have to try anyway.

Guess what? I don't even care if anyone else likes this sweater. I love it for some reason I can't explain. Maybe it's a combination of the color (which I always inexplicably love in sweaters) and the coziness of it. It seems like I should be sitting in front of a fire in it and sipping hot cocoa or something.

Hi, I'm Jenn. If you haven't met me before I'm a total shoe whore and clothing whore. And, lucky me, I got a new catalogue in the mail the other day from Boden!

Don't worry, kind readers, Christmas will be here before you can believe it, and I am happy to report that I will accept gifts at any time. No occasion necessary.

Check out the cute dress!

It's a real problem.

Check out more problems.

I'm really loving the cute little sneaker-y flats that are all over now. Comfortable, cute and funky. Great for casual stuff like jeans or you can dress them up a little with a casual skirt or dress.