Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

Sweater fail

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:43:38 EST

This photo was in an email with the subject line "Holiday Sweaters are ugly no longer".

False.

#SweaterFail

I'm getting sick of people and their hats

Sun, 23 Oct 2011 16:23:17 EDT

I love a good winter hat. I mean, this is New England. It's one of my favorite things to knit or crochet. I probably have about 8 hats I've made myself right now. But hats in general are getting bananas lately.

There are people walking around with all kinds of hipster pretend fedoras. Other various I don't know what, bowler hats or something. Girls in those I don't know, newsboy caps or whatever.

Get over yourself. Wearing a hat is acceptable for the following purposes:

Your head is cold
Keeping rain out of your face
You are a professional baseball player
It is 1963 and you are Don Draper
It is 1823 and you are a cowboy

The end. You're welcome.

Don Draper

A cowboy

Hideous denim nightmare

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 10:19:14 EDT

Please tell me no human being will actually put these on their bodies on purpose and walk around in them.

(click on photo to view the full horror)

Wisdom from Rob Reed about fashion crimes

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 09:16:47 EDT

Back in March we were at the Pru one evening and there was a parade of terrible fashion crimes in the mall. There is really no further explanation needed for the hilarity you are about to be treated to:

Show me a woman with a lot of clothes and I'll show you a woman with a lot of ugly clothes.

Putting on a pretty dress doesn't make you pretty. I know where the dress ends and you begin. Just put on a pair of chinos and get on with your life.

Skinny is the description of the jeans before you put them on.

They should rename "skinny" jeans "skinny?". As in, if you're not skinny you should probably buy some different jeans.

The clothes aren't making you look good. If anything, you are making the clothes look bad.

There's a reason models are attractive. It's not to demonstrate that the outfit can make ugly people attractive. It's that the clothes only look good when there are attractive people wearing them.

Thanks, Rob Reed, for your commentary, which helped me laugh at everybody instead of getting unnecessarily outraged, which is what I usually do.

Pretty clothes from LL Bean

Thu, 24 Feb 2011 17:07:05 EST

Important announcement:

LL Bean Signature exists. It contains many lovely clothes that are not particularly reminiscent of boat shoes, canvas totes, or flannel lined jeans (not that I don't also love all those things).

Click the below image of my very favorite - a shirt dress - to go to the site.

What. The. Eff.

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:24:18 EDT

Via The Pink Shoe Diaries, please enjoy the below:

I actually don't even know what to say. Please let me never see a human being actually wearing these somewhere. I will be forced to do something drastic.

Let's revisit my shoe problem, shall we?

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 10:26:47 EST

My problem is I love them and if I had lots of spare cash I would spend a lot of it on shoes. I'm sure it is cliche but I can't help it. Shoes = happy.

Hey, cut me a little slack, these are all on sale at least...

Grandeur:

Skylark:

Verner:

Day:

Shoooooooooooooooes.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:03:29 EDT

I have a shoe problem. The problem is I love shoes, but shoes are not free. So, instead of buying shoes I will just tell you about how pretty they are. Like, look at these sweet orange sandals:

fun blue wedge sandals:

and these pretty slingbacks:

(If anyone is feeling generous, I wear size 9.)

That's all. I could stare at shoes all day but I'll leave you with these. Happy summer, toes.

American Apparel Needs To Be Stopped

Wed, 06 May 2009 11:05:28 EDT

Honestly. I mean, do I even need to say anything more than that?

"Designer" = ugly

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:10:25 EST

Those of you who know me personally or have spent any time at all reading this blog will probably recognize that I am NOT very concerned with impressing people in ways such as buying expensive designer clothes, bags, shoes, etc.

Well some of that is because I'm broke anyway, some of it is because I grew up with everything I needed but not lots of extra unnecessary expensive things, so I don't feel the need, and part of it is because seriously, some designer stuff is just WICKED UGLY.

Case in point, I have a special intense hatred for Louis Vuitton. It really bothers me that most of their "design" centers around putting a tiled image of their logo (which is also ugly) on their bags. Wow, how innovative. It really REALLY bothers me that anyone:

Finds this aesthetically pleasing
Finds the accompanying price tag acceptable

I would now like to show you the latest example of hideous ugliness they are bestowing on the world and ask you, dear reader, really, is this a joke?

(Sorry, I know, comments aren't working... if you have something to say just email me and I promise I will post it. jennmartinelli at gmail dot com.)