Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

What. The. Eff.

Fri, 09 Apr 2010 13:24:18 EDT

Via The Pink Shoe Diaries, please enjoy the below:

I actually don't even know what to say. Please let me never see a human being actually wearing these somewhere. I will be forced to do something drastic.

Let's revisit my shoe problem, shall we?

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 10:26:47 EST

My problem is I love them and if I had lots of spare cash I would spend a lot of it on shoes. I'm sure it is cliche but I can't help it. Shoes = happy.

Hey, cut me a little slack, these are all on sale at least...

Grandeur:

Skylark:

Verner:

Day:

Shoooooooooooooooes.

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 10:03:29 EDT

I have a shoe problem. The problem is I love shoes, but shoes are not free. So, instead of buying shoes I will just tell you about how pretty they are. Like, look at these sweet orange sandals:

fun blue wedge sandals:

and these pretty slingbacks:

(If anyone is feeling generous, I wear size 9.)

That's all. I could stare at shoes all day but I'll leave you with these. Happy summer, toes.

American Apparel Needs To Be Stopped

Wed, 06 May 2009 11:05:28 EDT

Honestly. I mean, do I even need to say anything more than that?

"Designer" = ugly

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:10:25 EST

Those of you who know me personally or have spent any time at all reading this blog will probably recognize that I am NOT very concerned with impressing people in ways such as buying expensive designer clothes, bags, shoes, etc.

Well some of that is because I'm broke anyway, some of it is because I grew up with everything I needed but not lots of extra unnecessary expensive things, so I don't feel the need, and part of it is because seriously, some designer stuff is just WICKED UGLY.

Case in point, I have a special intense hatred for Louis Vuitton. It really bothers me that most of their "design" centers around putting a tiled image of their logo (which is also ugly) on their bags. Wow, how innovative. It really REALLY bothers me that anyone:

Finds this aesthetically pleasing
Finds the accompanying price tag acceptable

I would now like to show you the latest example of hideous ugliness they are bestowing on the world and ask you, dear reader, really, is this a joke?

(Sorry, I know, comments aren't working... if you have something to say just email me and I promise I will post it. jennmartinelli at gmail dot com.)

The Great Shoe Lust of 2008-09

Mon, 01 Dec 2008 16:22:24 EST

It's happened, I'm in love with shoes. The change of the seasons always makes this happen (any change in the seasons).

Whether it's casual boots, basic pumps, fancy stiletto boots or kicky party shoes, I'm in love with them.

Check out some recent favorites by clicking on the below pic.

What the fucking hell is this?

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:33:10 EDT

Seriously. This is apparently from the "fashion show" (the quotes are necessary) of some person/designer/design house called Maison Martin Margiela.

I really am at a loss for words. It's creepy and weird and somehow gross and not at all something that qualifies as "fashion" or "clothing".

Has no one heard that CRACK IS BAD FOR YOU?

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:27:00 EDT

Because I saw no fewer than 3 quite prominent ASS CRACKS on various ladies in our fine city in the course of one 24-hour period, and I wasn't even looking for them. I'm sure if I had been I would have seen many more.

Along with all my cautions about skinny jeans and properly colored underwear under white things, I must now add the following obvious cautions for women regarding their private areas:

First of all, your ass crack is a private area. Random strangers in public should not be accosted with it.
If you honestly do not have a single friend/significant other or any sort of companion who can tell you when your ass crack is hanging out, play it safe and wear high-waisted everything. With a belt. And possibly suspenders.
Please, ladies, if you are going to wear low-waisted pants (hey, I get it, I find them very comfy and flattering in general) I beg you to just be CONSCIOUS of what's going on in the lower back area. I am quite certain that I have never once shown the general public my ass crack. Try wearing a shirt that goes below your rib cage. Or, you know, noticing the breeze ON YOUR BARE ASS.

For God's sake, seriously.

How many times do I have to tell you? Skinny jeans are NO GOOD.

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 11:13:13 EDT

People, how many ways can I tell you these are ugly? Mouse over images for comments.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I have never seen one person in real life or on TV or in any photograph ever taken by anyone who looks good in these. I PROMISE. Please, stop the madness.

Shoe ban

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:55:04 EDT

I actually feel that these sandals should literally be illegal.