Jenn Martinelli Blogging in Boston

China, let me officially say right now, before you have achieved world domination and I'm your slave, FUCK YOU.

Seriously. If we're listing rules, I've got some rules for you fuckers.

So the last 3 nights in a row we have lost power. Other than that, there is evidence we have lost power during the day while we are out at least 2 of those 3 days as well.

This means that very often our server is shutting down and/or we are unplugging it to keep it from getting destroyed.

So, for a little bit you may have problems accessing my blog and/or leaving comments on it even if it's up. Hopefully this will be remedied soon but it involves buying a UPS to plug all our computer shit into, so I am now taking donations for the "Rob and Jenn need to not lose their expensive computer equipment fund".

Thanks. I'm only half joking.

(Warning: unnecessarily expletive-filled post to follow)

Jenn angry. Jenn smash.

Yes, it's my fault I'm doing laundry so late. However, what the FUCK is wrong with people who think it's OK to leave a giant puddle in the middle of the laundry room floor as a death trap to anyone else who enters or exits the room?

Gee, I'm sure whoever had the machine overflow on them was probably pretty pissed. I know I would be. But guess what? That's not an excuse to kill anyone else who enters the room YOU STUPID FUCKING MORONS. Frankly, some of the people in this building are pretty much sub-human in their activities and behavior.

Tonight I saw someone flick a cigarette butt INTO THE STAIRWELL while they were walking down the hall. The interior stairwell. In the building they live in. That's not something that someone with any fucking sense would do. I'll admit I was already primed for my laundry room flood rage by my cigarette flick observing rage.

In case you can't guess, I slipped in aforementioned puddle and went down hard on my ass, directly into the disgusting puddle of course, soaking everything I was wearing. I somehow saved dropping all my clean laundry in it but that didn't make me feel much better given that my clean laundry was BARELY DRY AT ALL. In other words MOSTLY WET because apparently there is about a 23% chance that any given dryer in this place will actually DRY YOUR CLOTHES. I'm so angry that I was sorely tempted to call the "emergency only" number of the management company and scream at them.

And I didn't just slip in the puddle in the room, I slipped again right outside the room because my shoes were still wet. Both times I screamed something like, "WHAT THE FUCK! FUCK EVERYBODY!!!"

I am very angry. I'm going to bed now to dream angry angry dreams.

For other laundry adventures, see here

On a random site - maybe it was a Yahoo home page - on someone else's computer - an ad for some humane society that said, "It takes 2 hours to poison a dog." with a sick as hell looking puppy on it.

Fuck off, humane societies. I don't poison dogs, don't make me want to kill myself just because I go online.

The reason people are portraying you as a monster is because YOU ARE A MONSTER.

The end.

Just in case you were wondering, a giant chunk of ice collapsed in Antarctica, and if you're still confused, that's bad.

OK, so last night I'm watching something random on TV, I think Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares on BBC America and all of a sudden, during the commercials, I see a depressed looking dog in a cage and Sarah McLachlan's song "Angel" starts playing. I immediately burst into tears and say, "Fuck you Sarah McLachlan, for making me cry!" and the commercial continues by showing me about 20 more sad looking animals, kitties and dogs, and it's for the ASPCA so then you get a few lines about how every year thousands of animals are abused, neglected, etc. but the ASPCA works to help and save them etc. but for many it's too late. More crying. Then Sarah McLachlan herself comes on and talks more about how you should give money to the ASPCA and by then I have to leave the room.

WTF?

I seriously had to go sit in the bathroom and bawl for a minute.

That's all.

Happy Friday!

p.s. Why, when I went to find the YouTube video of the commercial did I torture myself by watching most of it again? At least the sound was off on my computer.

Um, commercials have been known to make me cry. Just tonight, while we were eating stupid Subway and watching terrible Carpoolers, there was a random commercial on about how for every dog adopted from a shelter one is not. And I cried.

Then David Duchovny informs me that I should buy Pedigree dog food or something so that they will help save unadopted dogs.

But really, what I wanted to do was sell my soul to buy a giant farmhouse in Pennsyltucky or something, where I would proceed to save as many dogs as I could for the rest of my life.

Then I declared loudly to Rob (and completely sanely) that half the people in the world should be removed and we should "give the dogs their houses".

Yeah.

Dear commercials,

Please don't make me cry.

love,
Jenn

Future installments:
Hallmark commercial about woman giving a card to old lady across the street
Ad in magazine about camp for kids with AIDS
This episode of Futurama (OK, not a commercial, but it's still important to mention. It gets me every time.)

I randomly stumbled across this site, so I'm not certain how legit it is, though it doesn't look like something a 13 year old threw up in their spare time so there's probably something to it.

Anyway, given my well-documented hatred of PETA (despite or even because of my life-long love of all animals and general regard for them as better than people), I thought that the fact that this site exists was hilarious.

I have to say, for an organization with so much press and so many celebrity endorsers, maybe they could find a way to run no-kill shelters.

Oops, assholes.

Well this sucks.