Chelsea Clinton broke her heel. Before you go into a panic, don't worry. She should be OK in time for her summer wedding! Phew! Now hey, Chelsea seems like an OK gal, I have no beef with her. I just don't give a shit about her heel. There are a lot of more important things going on.

Here is a movie I'm super psyched about:

Kick Ass. I am totally psyched for this movie! We will definitely be catching it this weekend. Probably not tonight because I'm freaking exhausted and don't want to fall asleep during it. Maybe a matinee tomorrow!

Finally, here's my unpopular opinion for today:

I think marathons are crazy. As in, not a good idea. Yes, I know it's a big deal for people, yes, I know it's a major accomplishment for everyone who runs it, yes I know many charities raise lots of money. I'm not taking anything away from that. I'm just saying I don't really think the human body is made to run 26.2 miles. It just seems unnecessary. (I say while eating an Oreo. OK, I might just be effing lazy.) I'm just saying, couldn't people stick to a more sane distance like, say 10 miles? I mean, that's still pretty far to run all at once without stopping folks.

Happy Friday.

If the Catholic church condemns who you are, then you should have no interest in sending your child to a Catholic school. Or any other school where you are officially condemned to hell.

I don't understand why anyone would want to expose their child to that. If it's the only decent school in the area, which I realize is often the case, well then, we have bigger problems folks (and of course we do). You can't rely on an institution that officially disapproves of you to provide education to your child.

Unfortunately, the Catholic church can condemn and disapprove of anything they want, and if you disagree with them, then you should go right ahead and not be Catholic. For example, I am not Catholic, and not coincidentally, I agree with basically none of the church's policies or positions. See how that works out? I don't have to care what it says because it's not my church. Everybody wins.

Fortunately, this country is one where everyone is allowed religious freedom, including freedom FROM religion. So you don't have to be subjected to religious beliefs you disagree with. Yes, of course, you might have to hear them, because everyone has the right to free speech (even Republicans - ha ha), but fortunately you are not subject to anything you disagree with. You are perfectly free to not be a member of any religion you please.

(By the way, I understand of course that this is traumatic for the children, and that's awful, but I just don't understand why they were exposed to this at all. My children would never have been enrolled in a Catholic school to start, therefore when the church realized or decided I was objectionable somehow, my kids wouldn't have to be tossed out like garbage.)

Example:

Most Americans think Tibet should be independent

Tip: China doesn't give a fuck what most Americans think, so your thinking has no effect and the reporting of the opinion just annoys the shit out of me.

By the way, I agree that Tibet should be independent, and I might even rant about it on my blog, but I just don't think it's a NEWS STORY. In related non-news news, check this out:

Al Franken sponsors bill condemning Uganda's anti-homosexuality act

Again, listen Al, I agree with you and everything but Uganda does not give a shit if we pass a "bill" officially saying "We think you are jerks". Now if you're going to recommend trade embargoes or something, maybe that makes sense, but seriously, passing a bill in congress to officially disapprove of something? What is the fucking point? Can our government not find something better to do with its time? How about repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell - you know, something that actually affects Americans' lives?

There are lots of other problems in this country we could choose to address instead of spending our time officially disapproving of things. Here are a few:

• Education
• Homelessness
• Poverty
• The fallout from the mortgage crisis
• Unemployment
• The environment
• Healthcare

I'm sure anyone reading this can come up with a few more. I do not give a crap about people's opinions if no one is doing anything about it. That's not news. Please, can our representatives in the government take their jobs seriously and stop wasting time passing useless bills that mean nothing, and writing memoirs and other fucking bullshit?

Get real people.

Some stupid assholes out there are complaining about the amount of effort put into saving this dog from drowning in the LA river.

I don't even really know what to say to that except that it's just another example of why people are awful. Anyone who seriously feels the need to complain about this can really just go jump off a bridge. I promise NOT to send anyone to rescue you, as I know you would not want to waste taxpayer money.

You need to start looking into how to fucking apologize though, for killing protesters for starters. But I'm sure there is a wealth of reasons.

Parents reconsider sending kids flying solo

First of all, I doubt very much I would put my, for example, ten year old on a plane by him/herself for various reasons. On the other hand, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. When I was 10 I watched my 6 and 2 year old brothers for several hours every day during the summer and it was no problem.

In any case, let's not make this into the biggest news story of the year folks. Were the kids hurt? No. Were they found safely and sent to their proper destinations? Yes.

Hey, if you think it's a bad idea to put a small child on a plane by his or herself, I agree with you. So don't do it. If you, however, decide it's perfectly OK, then let's not act like someone kidnapped her when she gets routed on the wrong plane. If you were so concerned, you could have accompanied her. Seriously.

Again, if you don't smuggle drugs you won't get sentenced to life in prison in Laos for SMUGGLING DRUGS.

SIGH. Do I have to explain everything to you people?

Obama's observance of the National Day of Prayer

And now point out my "favorite" part:

"We are disappointed in the lack of participation by the Obama Administration," said task force chairwoman Shirley Dobson, wife of Focus on the Family founder James Dobson. "At this time in our country's history, we would hope our President would recognize more fully the importance of prayer."

Oh, Shirley Dobson, at this time in our country's history I would hope that you would recognize more fully the separation of church and state.

I almost don't even have the energy to discuss this further. All I can say is nobody is telling anyone else they can't pray. But I don't want the government requesting that I pray. That is not the role of government on this or any other day.

If you want to pray you can go right ahead. You can pray next to me on the train, you can pray out loud on the sidewalk, you can pray before you eat your lunch at a restaurant. I do not care. But please do not turn to me and tell me to pray with you. Mind your own business.

Thanks.