The person who did this should be shot in the face by the stupidity police, I should get their $31,000 because I'd spend it infinitely better, and the world's gene pool would thank me for getting rid of someone so dumb.

Sgt. Maj. Micheal Barrett tells marines in South Korea to "get over it", reads from the Constitution, and then says:

How dare we, then, exclude a group of people who want to do the same thing you do right now, something that is honorable and noble? Right?

Word up, Sgt. Maj. Micheal Barrett!

Knut dies in front of fans at the Berlin Zoo

Poor Knut. If you don't remember, he was rejected by his mother but survived and was a favorite for zoo visitors.

OMG, NEWSFLASH!

IT IS SNOWING IN BOSTON IN THE WINTER! OMG OMG OMG! SHOULD I PUT THE WIPERS UP ON MY CAR? WILL THE STORE/THEATER/CAFE I WANT TO GO TO BE OPEN? WILL SCHOOL BE OPEN TOMORROW? DO I HAVE TO MOVE MY CAR? OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!

Snowpocalypse 2010.

Prop 8 declared unconstitutional!

Missy Day, your state did something right. Hallelujah.

Chelsea Clinton broke her heel. Before you go into a panic, don't worry. She should be OK in time for her summer wedding! Phew! Now hey, Chelsea seems like an OK gal, I have no beef with her. I just don't give a shit about her heel. There are a lot of more important things going on.

Here is a movie I'm super psyched about:

Kick Ass. I am totally psyched for this movie! We will definitely be catching it this weekend. Probably not tonight because I'm freaking exhausted and don't want to fall asleep during it. Maybe a matinee tomorrow!

Finally, here's my unpopular opinion for today:

I think marathons are crazy. As in, not a good idea. Yes, I know it's a big deal for people, yes, I know it's a major accomplishment for everyone who runs it, yes I know many charities raise lots of money. I'm not taking anything away from that. I'm just saying I don't really think the human body is made to run 26.2 miles. It just seems unnecessary. (I say while eating an Oreo. OK, I might just be effing lazy.) I'm just saying, couldn't people stick to a more sane distance like, say 10 miles? I mean, that's still pretty far to run all at once without stopping folks.

Happy Friday.

If the Catholic church condemns who you are, then you should have no interest in sending your child to a Catholic school. Or any other school where you are officially condemned to hell.

I don't understand why anyone would want to expose their child to that. If it's the only decent school in the area, which I realize is often the case, well then, we have bigger problems folks (and of course we do). You can't rely on an institution that officially disapproves of you to provide education to your child.

Unfortunately, the Catholic church can condemn and disapprove of anything they want, and if you disagree with them, then you should go right ahead and not be Catholic. For example, I am not Catholic, and not coincidentally, I agree with basically none of the church's policies or positions. See how that works out? I don't have to care what it says because it's not my church. Everybody wins.

Fortunately, this country is one where everyone is allowed religious freedom, including freedom FROM religion. So you don't have to be subjected to religious beliefs you disagree with. Yes, of course, you might have to hear them, because everyone has the right to free speech (even Republicans - ha ha), but fortunately you are not subject to anything you disagree with. You are perfectly free to not be a member of any religion you please.

(By the way, I understand of course that this is traumatic for the children, and that's awful, but I just don't understand why they were exposed to this at all. My children would never have been enrolled in a Catholic school to start, therefore when the church realized or decided I was objectionable somehow, my kids wouldn't have to be tossed out like garbage.)

Example:

Most Americans think Tibet should be independent

Tip: China doesn't give a fuck what most Americans think, so your thinking has no effect and the reporting of the opinion just annoys the shit out of me.

By the way, I agree that Tibet should be independent, and I might even rant about it on my blog, but I just don't think it's a NEWS STORY. In related non-news news, check this out:

Al Franken sponsors bill condemning Uganda's anti-homosexuality act

Again, listen Al, I agree with you and everything but Uganda does not give a shit if we pass a "bill" officially saying "We think you are jerks". Now if you're going to recommend trade embargoes or something, maybe that makes sense, but seriously, passing a bill in congress to officially disapprove of something? What is the fucking point? Can our government not find something better to do with its time? How about repealing Don't Ask Don't Tell - you know, something that actually affects Americans' lives?

There are lots of other problems in this country we could choose to address instead of spending our time officially disapproving of things. Here are a few:

• Education
• Homelessness
• Poverty
• The fallout from the mortgage crisis
• Unemployment
• The environment
• Healthcare

I'm sure anyone reading this can come up with a few more. I do not give a crap about people's opinions if no one is doing anything about it. That's not news. Please, can our representatives in the government take their jobs seriously and stop wasting time passing useless bills that mean nothing, and writing memoirs and other fucking bullshit?

Get real people.

Some stupid assholes out there are complaining about the amount of effort put into saving this dog from drowning in the LA river.

I don't even really know what to say to that except that it's just another example of why people are awful. Anyone who seriously feels the need to complain about this can really just go jump off a bridge. I promise NOT to send anyone to rescue you, as I know you would not want to waste taxpayer money.