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And now, for the few that will understand it...
I present the 1998 Tazewell, Virginia ASP Staff "Quote Book":
Did you know that Peter Gabriel had a siamese twin for six years? - Jozwik
Doesn't matter to me. I'm easy. - Emily
I don't eat ham unless it's necessary. Like when I'm at my grandma's. - Emily
Well, I had my pants on. - Emily
I loved childhood. That's why I'm still in it. - Jozwik
I don't help anybody. That's my motto. - Jozwik
You better hop your happy hiney in there and help Emily! - Julie
My train isn't bound for glory, it's bound for ice cream. - Emily
You are such a weirdo. - Emily
The way I retaliate is GAS! - Jozwik
Tooting is not allowed! - Julie
If you have a visitor in the school, they have to leave... no matter how nice they are. - Jerry Cromer (The principal of the school where we were staying. This was over the PA system.)
I don't like to look at it while I eat. - Julie
I've got the patience of a small owl. - Jozwik
This crust is fabulous! / If I had a nickel for every time I heard that one... - Julie, Jenn
You're kind of a problem. - Emily
There's just something about chore charts and Wednesdays that makes me mad. - Jozwik
Why don't YOU sell your body so we can go to Sam's Club? - Julie
Let me tell you something about this picture frame in water - it's not flattering. - Jenn
Craig Beavers, come to the office - FAST! - Announcement over the PA
Try it. It hurts. - Jozwik
Time out... my watch smells. - Jozwik
How about a stand-up routine with Eskimos... small Eskimo boys running around me in circles... - Jozwik
Was I better on the cot last night? - Jozwik
Jen who? - Jozwik
I like trees to die young. That's how I feel about people too. - Jozwik
Wait, you talked to MY boyfriend and I wasn't there? - Julie
I just sing what people think. - Jozwik
I don't WRITE your mom, I LAY your mom. - Jozwik
Well, you're the Center Director - go buy it. - Jozwik
Yeah, I saw a dead toddler on the side of the road... - Jenn
Neo-Nazis need home repair too. - Ermer
Those hands aren't crazy! I know your games! - Ermer
Time's on rollerskates, man! - Jozwik
They haven't always had modern medicine. - Emily
I'm all about getting my hands on any kind of raw meat you can imagine. - Julie
Oh no, y'all... my good jeans are washing. That means i have to wear my crap jeans. That makes me sad! - Julie
Raccoons don't talk. - Julie
Don't worry nature, I still care about you. - Jozwik
I'm just not going to talk anymore because it's all so stupid. - Emily
How much would it cost to rent a hovercraft? - Jozwik
There were a couple of newbies who wanted to hop-a-doodle. - Jozwik
I try to channel for at least half the day. / Great, when can we change the channel? - Jozwik, Jardine
I'm a prick 24 hours a day, my friend. - Jozwik
Actually, we experimented. I like to show rather than tell. - Julie
I like my meat wet. - Julie
Why are we all against the the ants? Why don't we feed the ants? - Jozwik
That was the best thing I've ever put in my body...I mean, my mouth. Except for last night. - Julie
Looks like you're about to share more than just your baloney sandwich! - Trojan Man
Right there, baby. You can still smell the chlorine. - Julie
Please don't touch me. Don't touch me all day long. - Julie
Pigtails and crazy - that's me! - Emily
Here - take a picture with this hooker. - Jason P. Kennedy
Wait, my boobs don't hurt. I'm not PMS-ing yet. - Jenn
Well, you shouldn't be messing with your nipples. - Jenn
Dude, I promise you I know the female anatomy backwards and forwards. - Jozwik
You just called me ass-face you jerk-off! You're a dick. - Julie
Please note that Jozwik is heavily featured. He was definitely the most quotable. Also please notice our steady corruption of Julie over the course of the summer. I especially enjoy that the final quote is hers. It was of course, directed at Jozwik.
Continuing in the theme of spending every penny on our new home...
We ordered carpet tiles Friday night. Flor was having a 15% off sale that we wanted to make sure we didn't miss. Of course, the sale ended at 1am eastern time and we were placing our order at approximately 12:57am. Which is further evidence that we suck.
Anyway, we ordered Rake Me Over in Lime for the livingroom:
and Favorite Jeans in Black Label for the kitchen:
We are expecting the tile to arrive sometime this week and trying like hell to have our crap organized and put away by the time it arrives so that we can put the tiles down and make sure they work and we like them, etc.
I am pretty sure that we will love it but until it gets here and we see it I'm a little anxious. We need to move past our $20 IKEA area rugs and get some decent stuff down on the floor. (Note: we are using the carpet tiles to make area rugs, we're not covering up our hardwood floors, don't worry. No, we have not lost our minds.)
Wish us luck!
World's No. 1 Sandwiches
Dear Sam LaGrassa's:
I concur that you do indeed make the world's number one sandwiches. Thank you.
love,
Jenn
Awesome video for any fellow Star Wars nerds out there
AT-AT day afternoon from Patrick Boivin on Vimeo.
Warning: Many Visitors Have Been Gored By Buffalo!
Seriously guys, they hand out the pamphlets right at the entrance to the park:
Stay away from buffalo!
Buffalo tosses woman in the air at Yellowstone
And by the way, these are really bison. There are no buffalo native to North America. Here is a helpful link on the difference between buffalo and bison and the origin of the misnomer.
I am really bad at choosing paint colors considering I was an art major.
As you probably know and are sick of hearing about, we are trying to pick our 5th (or maybe 6th?) paint color attempt for the living room. I fully acknowledge that everyone thinks we're insane. We're just trying to do a good job with our place so that we don't hate it in 6 months and want to change things.
We recently got two paint samples from Benjamin Moore and the one that we liked better on the wall was Woodcliff Lake:
(No, that's not our livingroom. Settle down.)
But, we are a little worried it is too dark and/or too brown (we prefer a grayer tone). So, we are now considering the two below colors, which I realize are probably barely distinguishable from each other.
Dolphin:
and Chelsea Gray:
I'm not even asking you to vote, though I assume at least one person might have an opinion. I'm just trying to explain to you the joys of paint. You'd think I could do a better job picking colors and being sure about it since I was an art major. I guess I'm not the painting kind of art major. I should stick to line drawing and black and white photography I guess. SIGH.
Holy bike ride, Batman!
So far this summer have gone on several bike rides of about 30 miles or so. Friday night we decided that today (Saturday) we would step it up. We opted to do a 50 mile ride starting from the BU bridge - which means about 65 miles total because we have to ride from East Boston to the BU bridge to start the ride, and then get our tired asses home afterwards.
In order to facilitate this, Rob, who had slept very late on Friday, stayed up all night Friday night to get us up early - at 4:15 - so we could start the ride. He is a total superstar for doing this - and maybe a little insane. Who stays up all night and then rides 65 miles on a bicycle? Rob Reed, that's who.
We were on the road by 5am.
Dear Summer: I do not much care for you
I decided about 6 years ago that there is really no reason to like summer anymore. I know summer is supposed to be a time of fun and vacations, but I think that's really just a trick leftover from when we were all in school.
Since I'm a grown up and I can take a trip or do something fun, in theory, anytime I please, summer holds no special joy for me. In fact, summer is too hot, so I hereby declare it my least favorite season.
But it still tries to trick me. Case in point, please observe the pretty photo below (sorry for the bad resolution, all I had on my was a phone):
Now please note that while the sky and clouds are lovely and the reflection in the Hancock tower is pretty cool, it was roughly 90 degrees and 8000% humidity when I took this and my shirt was basically plastered to me with sweat. Don't get excited, it was not a pretty picture.
So I don't want to deny anyone any summer pleasures that they enjoy. I mean, there are some specific things that happen to take place during the summer that I enjoy such as Shakespeare on the Common and Free Friday Flicks and the Woods Hole Film Festival.
However, please note that in order of preference of seasons, I rank them thusly:
Thanks for playing summer, you lose.
PETA sucks for so many reasons I've lost count
My brother Dan first sent me an article related to this years ago, but here's a refresher for you, everyone:
PETA regularly kills animals needlessly
There are lots of related links in the article. Please go check them out.
PETA, I hate you more than I think I hate anything else in this world, and that's saying a lot.
I can't even think about this anymore right now. I can't fathom why PETA still exists, unless its entire purpose is to drive me out of my mind completely.
Best Buy fired someone over this cartoon
Here is something completely hilarious.
First of all, this video, by a Best Buy employee, which apparently got him fired:
It's funny for many reasons, but unfortunately, even if the customer in the video is an idiot, the guy is also kind of a total douche. Rob made a response, which is the best thing ever. Please watch:
Yes, he stayed up all night to make that, but it was worth it.